pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
accomplished twins. life is a go
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
