pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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