your parents love me but you hate me
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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