OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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