In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
