We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
