I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
