So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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