i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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