I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
