God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I have tasted many bathrooms
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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