you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
