3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
