We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
