it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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