I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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