Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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