Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Randomize
