I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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