so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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