3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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