they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
