Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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