Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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