Your dad touched me again.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
They took my balls.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
