What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you win again, gameday.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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