Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
