so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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