DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
The struggles of a small town man whore
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
