maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
