Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
