Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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