I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
