He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
