We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
