so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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