Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
