I want to make a zoo with you.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
