I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You need a sexual gate keeper
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
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