I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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