I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
