dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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