She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
