just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
This show inspires me to have sex in space
So many bounce houses so little time
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
