you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
