THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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