So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
