I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
im six kinds of drunk right now
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
