I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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