my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
