kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
