is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
