dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
