I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
