you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
