I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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