i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
