New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
