If that was your dad, he is hot
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
