ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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