so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The air was thick with penises
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
