dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
