In the future we'll all be gay
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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