Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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