We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
