Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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