just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
be right there i have to get my cape
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
