he wants to bone in the snuggie
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
