I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Randomize