I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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