Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
