i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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